Original:
"According to the national coalition for the homeless in 1998-the year i started this project-it took, on average nationwide, an hourly wage of $8.89 to afford a one-bedroom apartment, and the preamble center for public policy was estimating that the odds against a typical welfare recipient's landing a job at such a "living wage"were about 97 to 1. why should i bother to confirm these unpleasant facts?" As the time when I could no longer avoid the assignment approched, I began to feel a little like the elderly man i once knew who used a calculator to balance his checkbook and then went back and checked the results by doing each sum by hand."
Nickle and Dimed, Barbra Ehrenreich
Imitated:
Almost all magazines stimulate our minds to think
society is strictly made up of beautiful people, to make us wonder what we are
missing, and question why we are not what they portray to us as "the way
everyone should be," why we are not like the only thing these
magazines feature on their pages: these unrealistically beautiful women and
men who probably achieve this "beauty"
through heavy Photoshop. Why can't magazines use real sized models with realistic
body types and natural beauty instead of using media to make our society even
more deficient in self-esteem? The more our society uses media to extrapolate that all humans are this unrealistically beautiful,makes us feel like we are missing something and are the ones that are not normal is going to conclude in more people abandoning values about self individualism and natural beauty and succumbing to the norms society implants in our minds.
Hello, Brisa! I like your idea behind this imitation- the idea that magazines feature unrealistic standards of beauty for the average person to achieve. However, some of your sentences are a bit of a mouthful. I know this assignment limits the wording and grammar, but I found my mind trailing off after a few drawn out and overworked sentences. Also, there just a few little typing errors: in the line that begins with "The more our society uses media to extrapolate," you missed a space and forgot to add an s to the word makes. Overall, I think this piece has a lot of potential and if the assignment weren't so restrictive, then you could have made it smoother. But don't worry, I'm sure mine has a few of the same problems seeing as I was struggling with the same technical stuff. Really good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Brisa, Once again I loved what you wrote about. I loved the topic and issue that you chose because it is so preasent in today's society. I think natral beauty should also be expressed in society but unfortunately it is not. I myself struggle with self-esteem due to what society has said I should look like. I think this topic should be addressed and changed. I sorta got lost in your final few sentences cause they were a bit long but thats because of the way Ehrenreich wrote it; but once again good job.
ReplyDeleteThanks Briana and Olivia's-in-the-nest ! :)
ReplyDelete