The Results of My Observation

After observing my surroundings a bit, really looking at my situation at home, surveying and really thinking about dinner time, watching kid's entertainment, reminiscing back to the old days of Disney movies, and surveying my environment in high school, I found that my previous perception of society and of my culture has not drastically changed. 

I chose to write about dinner time in my house because of the fact that it is so unconventional, so nontraditional, and I am so not welcome at the table, or in my parent's "adult" conversations. This is their place, their time, where they sit down and watch the news, where they sum up their day to each other, and where they chose to talk about subjects that I am not allowed to talk about or "butt in" because I am not an adult. Although they may seem spiteful, I think they just try to protect me from the stresses they go through, and deep down inside, they don't mean to banish me to the dining room to sit by myself. They have long days, and at the end of the day, they want to sit down and enjoy a meal, talk about what's on their minds without their kids bothering them. This has become a tradition in my house, for as long as we've had the television in the kitchen; they have tuned in to news 12 every night at diner and watching in on the current events of our society. I've always though they didn't pay much mind to the news, and that they only became interested in the events that shocked them or were interesting to them. But, i came to learn after a while that even though they are not showing interest, they are still listening in on news about the economy, about crime, about accomplishments in our society, about the world, and it still gets registered in their heads. I think news is definitely important to them, and it is their tradition and almost daily ritual to sit down during dinner and watch the news, and of course, like almost all places a group calls their own, outsiders are not welcome, and always are on the outside looking in, just as I sit in the dining room- the outside- looking in. 

Disney's movie Brave has been my favorite so far since it came out. I remember when i was little i used to say i wanted to be a princess, and now that I’m grown i remember the values and morals the movies taught children through exciting and magical stories. But, as I grew older, and became aware of society, and of expected roles of men and women, my views on these Disney movies changed. I no longer appreciated the love stories and happy endings, because I knew that they were there to restrict and distinguish the female roles as dainty, obedient, duty-full, kind, and compassionate, a cleaning, cooking, and submissive little "princess." Although some values and traits are still important to me, like compassion, kindness, and obedience (to an extent), I find that the female roles in the traditional Disney movies are really outdated. In our society now, in the 20th century, the roles of women have changed dramatically. Brave is the prefect movie to play out that change. Instead of the protagonist being a dainty soft spoken princess, it is a rowdy, wild-at-heart girl who doesn't want to conform and give up her free spirit to fit into the gender role destined for her. Although in the end Merida is told she has to become queen, and get married, she does learn valuable lessons, including the one to follow her dreams, and that it’s OK to break the norms of society. 

I couldn't say I just recently stopped and observed the hallways at school, because I've been observing them since I became a part of the flow of students in them. I've always been very observant of the styles, the personalities, the music and fashion choices, and the overall choices the people that walk in the hallways in between each class make. We are the face of this generation, we are the future, we are the society that will prevail, and our values, traditions, and rituals reflect this. To our generation, music is important, clothes to most is important, our friends and relationships are important, and to some our education is important. This says a lot about our generation as a whole. Although some might think we are shallow, and are straying away from traditional values, we are just growing and adapting to the times, and as the times pass, so will some values, and as the time progresses, so will others. 

Our society, our culture values education, by going after our goals in high school we achieve what we want to be. We value important traits such as persistence, determination, and "breaking the mold," being different, and not fitting into gender roles chosen for us by being what we want to be. Our society values the freedom of expression, the freedom to be who you want to be no matter what sex, or sexual orientation. Our society strays away from oppressing girls and women, from being submissive to being powerful and independent. We all make our own cultures, and we chose places that are important to us to act out these cultural traditions and daily rituals, and sometimes we also have to be on the outside of others' culture looking in. 

The Flow of High School Hallways

January 14,2013

"Every day, its a wave, a whirlpool, a river. Incoming, outgoing, back, forth, churning, swirling, swishing. Voices splashing legs walking feet tapping water flowing laughing scolding greeting, water. Sounds lapping at the walls as water churns and churns back and forth and back until the shrill bell, the dam is closed .the bell sounds the moon phases the hour minute second changes so changes the tide and the wave whirlpool river is no more. Water rushes  into gates, into doors they go, feet shuffling, voices calming, sounds like water lapping no more. Time passes the time hour minute changes, the moon phases tides change the shrill bell marks the opening of the flood gates out comes the water rushing back in down down goes the river incoming, outgoing, back, forth, churning, swirling, swishing. Water searching doors opening closing coming going.Voices splashing legs walking feet tapping water flowing laughing scolding greeting, water. Sounds lapping at the walls as water churns and churns back and forth and back until the shrill bell, again the dam is closed .The bell sounds the moon phases  hour minute second changes so changes the tide and the wave whirlpool river is no more. Eight times the dam opens water rushes in swirling confusion laughing greeting screaming scolding feet shuffling voices speaking until the shrill bell closes the dam again and  calming voices shuffling feet laughter scolding greeting ceases, water rushes back through doors the dam closes on and on until  feet shuffling voices exciting  friends departing scolding laughing, water overflows the dam breaks, water is released."

High school hallways are an interesting place. To one who is used to the flow, the rowdy students clambering to their classes, the quiet ones who walk reserved, the ones who stand in the way of the flow and the ones who hurry to classes, it is quite normal. We become used to seeing every day these familiar and unfamiliar faces walking the halls. The bell marks the opening of the "flood gates,” when everyone is released at once, flowing into the hallways as if a dam just opened, filling a river. 

In this river, in the flow of the hallway in high school, we see all sorts of people, all sorts of things. The youth represents a large part of our society, and by observing high school students, one can tell a lot about our values, although different, our morals, and our likes and dislikes. The hallways are the place high school students call their own, where they choose to shout to their friends, laugh, catch up with the latest gossip, and sometimes even chose to "resolve” their issues, causing a scene as everyone yells "fight, fight, fight!"

In a high school hallway one can see the fashions, the media, and even how these students carry themselves. Colorful hair, expensive brands, brand named sneakers, laid back styles, high fashion, piercings, "hipster" styles, hip hop fashions, you see it all. Headphones and earphones in ears, everyone also moves to their own beats, as if high school students lived off of music. Electronics in hand, fingers flexing and texting and searching and clicking, students walk the hallways with their friends. Some chose to gossip, others to walk hand in hand with their boyfriends and girlfriends. Some like to shout obscenities at each other jokingly, while others hide in corners in plain sight and swap gum- saliva- germs. Some are late, some are early, some don't go to class at all and linger in the halls long after their friends have gone and the classroom doors are closed. 

Our generation is a bright, colorful, varied one, but it is also complicated, an intermingling of morals and ideals and ideas and fashions and likes and dislikes and traditions and daily rituals. In high school, we all share the ritual of going from one class to the next; we share this ritual with every other student at our school because at that time we are all seeking out our next destinations. We are all intermingling, even if we ignore one another or only talk to our own friends. We all share this ritual every single day in school because we make eye contact, we make physical contact, we overhear conversations, and we observe each other. Although most of us share the value of education, and attend our classes, those others don't, further defining our teenage society. Our diverse fashions tastes-existent or nonexistent, tastes of music, and the way we carry ourselves show who we are as individuals and what we believe in, and who we are as a whole high school, a whole society, and a whole generation.  

Brave

January 11, 2014

As long as we can all remember, Disney movies have entertained us from our early ages until we became mature and no longer believed in princesses, fairy tales, fairies, kingdoms, and happy endings. As we lost our innocence, the stories that once made our eyes sparkle no longer had the same magical effect. 

Just as our love for these cherished movies has diminished and become almost nonexistent as we've grown up, so has the meanings and morals these Disney movies were supposed to teach us.  The values of young women portrayed in Cinderella, Snow white, and Sleeping beauty have all become extinct in our modern society, and Disney has began  replacing these outdated values by releasing movies that depict almost the complete opposite values in their older movies. We saw this once upon a time ago when Mulan came out, what is happening now is a huge step forward. Not only are they releasing movies with themes other than love stories depicting the very distinct roles of females and males, they are completely straying away from the ancient morals of Sleeping Beauty and other Disney movies. The replacements depict male and female roles completely differently from traditional Disney movies. 
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Brave, released recently, depicts the female main character not as dainty, obedient, reserved, and modest, but rebellious, wild, and adventurous. Merida is not comparable to Cinderella, or Snow White, who always have to be rescued and depend on magic and men to survive and have a happy ending. She is a princess, soon to be queen, but abandons the role her mother has set out for her as this proper, up tight, modest and duty full queen, to chase her dreams and be free, as a young girl should be. On top of her training to be queen, Merida also is expected to leave her activities a normal young girl her age would be engaging in to find a suitor to serve as king by her side. 

Disney seems to be showing girls a new way of thinking, a new way that Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty would not have fit in with. Not only are these movies obviously very graphically advanced, the values they depict have also advanced. When these princess movies came out in the 90's, girls were expected to learn to cook and clean, be kind and obedient, duty full, modest, and reserved. But, this is the 21st century, and these ideals have certainly changed. Girls now a days play the roles most men would play, and roles that some men wouldn't have the guts to. There are women on the battle front, serving in the army, as cops, as firefighters, not home, as housewives, cooking, cleaning, and depending on their husbands. Society now requires women to be stronger , more independent, and self-reliant, just as Merida depicts in Brave. She climbs mountains and waterfalls, rides horses in the wind, shoots arrows, and pushes her boundaries, with her untamed, bright red hair that is the perfect symbol for the personality she has. She was born to be adventurous and wild, and no threat of the responsibility of a kingdom soon to fall in her hands will whip her into shape if she's not ready. 

Although Disney has been releasing these new movies that change how we see the roles of women, they still do focus on important values. It's not like they've just abandoned the values of traditional movies. In Brave, Merida still learns that making decisions is important, and that every decision comes with a consequence. She learns that she has responsibilities of her own, and that when she is ready, she will have to assume them, and learns how to live life with the best of both world; living free, but still fulfilling her duties. This teaches girls that its OK to be adventurous, to be free, yet to be responsible, and to be aware that there are some responsibilities they will eventually have to assume. It teaches girls not to make decisions at the spur of events, because sometimes the consequences are not so pleasant. And above all, it teaches girls to be themselves, but to keep their feet planted firmly on the ground. 

Disney has not completely abandoned the important values depicted in the more traditional movies, such as loyalty, modesty, and kindness. Although it seems that they stray more and more from these values and from the traditional role of young women, it is necessary as our society has become more modern. But, of course we cannot abandon these values we learned as kids watching Disney movies, even though Disney has been upgrading their values and gender roles depicted in their films. 

Personal Narritive- Three Seats of Honor

      They don’t eat dinner at the dinner table, although it’s so close to the kitchen, where they sit at the marble island in the center. There are three seats, three places of high honor, three people, three mouths, three place mats, but only 3 seats of high honor. They are literally high, the seats of honor, stools, that mark places at the makeshift marble table in the middle of the kitchen; the island. My step father wishes they would sit, like a “normal” family at the dinner table, but not even he, so “old fashioned”, will give up this sacred place for the dinner table. He can’t see the TV from there.

      In their faces, the glare of the TV that sits high up on the wall, overlooking their meeting, is reflected. The voices of news reporters and weather men blends in with their occasional comments about adult subjects, the silent sound of chewing, and the rattling of dishes, forks scraping on plates, grazing teeth, knives cutting, jaws moving, gulping, crunching of food between their teeth. Every night, they watch news 12, news 12 watches them. The TV hangs on the wall like the very eyes of God, on them every night, pouring out his messages, while intently they listen, as my brother complains about boredome and asks to change the channel to cartoons. They sit there as as the images on the screen play. The TV is always on during their dinner time. It synchronizes them, brings them together, while I sit apart. 

      The lights above are bright, too bright almost, making them seems as if they are in a spotlight, like this really is a high order, a meeting of extreme importance between these three people, and of course, their master, the TV, channel 12.

      But, if one looks away from the brightly lit sight of the 3 seats of honor at the foot of God, at the whole scene, taking in the dining room that is in proximity to the kitchen, the whole image is revealed. The perception of one looking in at this family diner is immediately changed, for the better, or worse. There, in the dark I sit. In the unlit dining room, in the shadows of the light that bathes the kitchen, and the high seats of honor at the marble island dead center, in brightness. I eat quietly, only listening, taking in what I hear among the high honors and the voice of TV God. On my face, the look of longing is apparent, envy; obvious. The eldest, set aside to make room for the youngest. The bastard child set aside for the child with the father. 

      My place is obviously not at the island in light. There, sits three, basked in light, under the gaze of channel 12: The mother; matriarch, father; patriarch, and younger brother; the son with a father , claimer of my seat of honor.

Ownership

As proposed by Jean-Paul Sartre, ownership extends beyond just tangible things. It means more than just owning every day, common things like notes, photographs, books, papers, and pencils. Ownership overflows its "tangible" boundaries to include intangible things as well, like people, thoughts, and memories. According to Sartre, as we become proficient in some skill, or we know someone or something thoroughly means that we “own” it. My family is mine, just like I also own my thoughts and memories. They are intangible, yet they are mine since as long as can remember; the intangible ownership Sartre spoke about.

Although the tangible things surrounding us; like our  homes, clothes, paintings, photographs, books,  and knick-knacks are ours, they’re all easy to show ownership to. They all mean just a simple trip to our favorite store and a full wallet, or some free time with a paintbrush or looking through a camera, reading words off a page.  But, the other things we own, that we  put tags reading “mine,” mean more than spending Christmas money to fill our closet, or coming home to a nice warm bed,  or putting colors on an empty canvas.  Our family, thoughts, and memories become ours with more meaning than photographs and new shoes will ever carry.

I’ve owned my parents since I first laid my eyes on them as I became theirs too, when we created the bond existent between every infant and their parents; usually the first people they see. They are mine to call mom, and dad. They were mine to grow with, are mine to laugh with, mine to cry with, and mine to live with. It was love at first sight, “you’re mine” at first glance. As Sartre proposes, we have ownership of intangible things when we come to know them. They were mine to take care of me, mine to feed me, to clean up my messes, mine to hear my cries at night and to spend sleepless nights rocking me to sleep, and in those moments I came to know my parents on a deeper level, to create a deeper bond and ownership than I will ever know or have with any human being. I gained ownership of their love and affection, and of course attention. I will always be their “baby,” as they will always be MY mom and dad. Although that love, attention, and affection of theirs that I call “mine” begins to be less apparent as I grow up, it is still there, and it will always be mine like it was since the beginning.

After the first sight as newborn, when I claimed ownership of my parents, my family also became mine. They were mine to carry me, they were mine to feed me, to buy me gifts, to make me giggle as I grew from bouncing baby to the young woman I am now. Although my family was and still can be obnoxious, crazy, loud, different, and quarrelsome, they are still mine. I’ve known them for 17 years, and I have a deeper acquaintance with them than I will ever have with anyone else, not including my parents, of course. My  brother, aunts, cousins, my grandmothers, my grandfathers, my uncles; they are all mine. Their love, affection, attention, and their yelling, my aunts’ goofing around, my eldest aunt’s witch laughter that makes me laugh until I cry, my grandmother’s fly-away mind, already showing signs of Alzheimer’s, my uncle’s rock and roll soul, my cousins ‘diverse personalities; they’re all mine, as they were from the beginning. I’ve claimed them, and held them dear to my heart, and these traits they’ve conveyed to me became a part of me: MINE.

The one thing that’s mine, and no one else’s, are my thoughts. Since as long as I can think, they’ve been there. I’ve been acquainted with the voice in my head since as long as I could think straight, and it has become mine. I have mastered the intangible thoughts in my head. Thoughts of school, “oh my god I have so much homework,” thoughts of friends, thoughts of family, and thoughts that don’t make sense at all. I’ve become proficient in knowing my thoughts, knowing the inner voice inside my head, gaining ownership to that what only I can hear.

My memories, the intangible ones, not recorded in fluffy, glittered 13-year-old journals with locks that I grew up believing could not be opened without the key, or photographs; some stained with age, others from outdated disposable cameras, and ancient VHS tapes of first birthdays and trips to Disney world, are all stored in my mind. They are mine, and mine to remember. I’ve grown to known them thoroughly, from reminiscing the past, although some are already beginning to fade despite my young age. But, even if they are forgotten, they were always mine. Even if they were of other people, strangers, strange places, I grew attached to them, and I labeled them as mine and filed them into the manila folders in my head, to be mine, and visited whenever I so pleased.

Tangible things tend to fade after a while. They lose their pretty colors, they lose that “shiny new toy” effect, we become disinterested in them after a while, and set them aside, and they no longer are ours.  Our families, our thoughts, and memories, on the other hand, although sometimes possibly pestering and disappointing, are harder to lose interest and ownership of. We throw away old books or give them away to Goodwill, but I can’t just give my grandma away because she’s forgetful, or my aunt away because she has the most obnoxious laugh in the world. I can’t just dismiss a though from my head after I get tired of hearing it, or forgetting a memory because it’s lost its emotion and nostalgia. Our family is ours from beginning to end. The meaning a new blouse just bought at the store is non-comparable to the meaning of being someone’s child, someone’s grandchild, cousin, niece or nephew, someone’s brother or sister. A family is not just a color or a pattern, a photograph or words on a page. The meaning we put behind our family, our thoughts, and memories is what proves our true ownership. My family means to me long conversations, birthday parties spent together, arguments, and 149019hours of getting to know each other, creating a bond that will last forever; making them mine. My thoughts mean to me things I was afraid of saying out loud, things that invaded my mind, things I could not get off my mind, and things that only I knew; mine. My memories; they’re also mine. More than just the faded images of faces and places, but records made that one day I will be able to tell my successors. These intangible things that we cannot hold, cannot really see, and cannot fully explain ownership of, are ours, just as the tangible things we own are ours too.